you know, for the longest time ive felt lonely. isolated in the way im detached from the reality. there was no one to relate to me. no one i could relate to. my everyday solitude made me starved for attention of another person. i went out of my way to see people. to hear them talk, make noise, something that would make the burdening silence go away. and that awful, heavy feeling in my chest. like, im not meant to coexist with others, like im somewhat worse, not welcome. like im not even human at all. why am i so distanced from others? i asked myslef many times, wondering that maybe if i looked different, maybe if i was just a little more open...

the main reason i created this page is to share a bit of myself. with you. with my future self. id like this to be a record of my last teenage year.

possibly, my last year alive, since i dont see anything good ahead.